Update: Chopstix was renamed Keys on Main in March 2012.
A night at Chopstix is like watching two extremely homely people feverishly making out on the bus -- you'd rather not have to witness it, but at the same time can't help feeling a little happy that at least they found someone, seemingly against all odds. The place is packed, and with what seem to be all home-schooled kids getting drunk for the first time. Thus the dumb sex allusions by the piano players are all simply HEE-LARIOUS (OMG! OMG! I can't believe he said that!), and then the night turns absolutely AWESOME when they launch into a muddled piano version of Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer"!
The cocktail menu is unrelentingly awful and appears to be designed by teenage girls. It bizzarely finished in the Top 5 of King TV's Best Cocktails, which must be seen as a tribute to the power of organized sorority members. (BTW, when I asked for a cocktail menu, it took the bartender a while to find one, and I had to promise to return it because it was the bar's only copy.)
I'm happy that all these people can find a bar that's safe and boring enough for them to feel like part of the party. But if you've been going to bars for more than six months and don't belong to a sorority, this is not the bar for you. On the other hand, if you love good bars, good cocktails, and good music, then Chopstix is like a night of being waterboarded.
11 Roy St., Seattle, WA 98109 - (206) 270-4444
Building constructed: 1918
chopstixpianobar.com - yelp