#949 - Chopstix, Seattle - 11/21/2009

Update: Chopstix was renamed Keys on Main in March 2012.


A night at Chopstix is like watching two extremely homely people feverishly making out on the bus -- you'd rather not have to witness it, but at the same time can't help feeling a little happy that at least they found someone, seemingly against all odds. The place is packed, and with what seem to be all home-schooled kids getting drunk for the first time. Thus the dumb sex allusions by the piano players are all simply HEE-LARIOUS (OMG! OMG! I can't believe he said that!), and then the night turns absolutely AWESOME when they launch into a muddled piano version of Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer"!

The cocktail menu is unrelentingly awful and appears to be designed by teenage girls. It bizzarely finished in the Top 5 of King TV's Best Cocktails, which must be seen as a tribute to the power of organized sorority members. (BTW, when I asked for a cocktail menu, it took the bartender a while to find one, and I had to promise to return it because it was the bar's only copy.)

I'm happy that all these people can find a bar that's safe and boring enough for them to feel like part of the party. But if you've been going to bars for more than six months and don't belong to a sorority, this is not the bar for you. On the other hand, if you love good bars, good cocktails, and good music, then Chopstix is like a night of being waterboarded.

11 Roy St., Seattle, WA 98109 - (206) 270-4444
Building constructed: 1918
chopstixpianobar.com - yelp

#948 - Toulouse Petit, Seattle - 11/21/2009

It's not often that a menu has credits for woodworkers, metal artists, and glass blowers, but the owners of Peso's are justifiably proud of this very attractive, French Quarter style restaurant next door. They also rattle off some of the stats: 712 panes of glass in the windows and doors, 85,000 Italian mosaic tiles in the floor, 40,000 glass tiles in the booth platforms, and 10,000 board feet of hardwood. (My favorite touch is the long, gently bending lamp hooks.) Other numbers I witnessed include about 200 wine choices, 40 vodkas, and around 120 votive candles sparkling on the walls.

The menu is massive and comes with a large wine list and a very large menu of modestly discounted Happy Hour items (4:00-5:30 and 10pm-close). Both my food and my cocktails were very good. Toulouse staff include chef Eric Donnelly, from Sazerac and Oceanaire, and bartenders Shing Chen, from Ovio Bistro and Wild Ginger, and Miles Thomas, from Tavern Law. It is loud -- though not as loud as Peso's, and seems to play the same sort of rock music as Peso's, which seems a bit at odds with the romantic decor. Overall it is a lovely place for dinner and/or drinks, particularly when it is dark outside.

Try the: Katie Mae

601 Queen Anne Ave N., Seattle, WA 98119 - (206) 432-9069

yelp - seattle weekly - seattle magazine - seattlest

#947 - Ascada Bistro, Seattle - 11/21/2009

The former "Perche No" location now houses a small, meat market sort of nightclub, where hapless bartenders try in vain to keep up with drink orders and telephoning credit card bills via a slow, little machine. The drinks are nothing special, but it is a fairly happening little scene, particularly if you like soul/R&B, and it does have a bunch of genuine Jimi Hendrix gold records on the wall.

621 1/2 Queen Anne Ave., Seattle, WA 98109 - (206) 282-1018
yelp - citysearch - seattle pi